God's Gift

 

I never realized how much love, joy, and happiness one experience could bring so many people until February 1998. Back some years ago my sister-in-law was going through infertility. I offered to her gestational surrogate, and for a variety of reasons we were not able to proceed beyond the research stage. After months of contemplation, I talked to my husband, Darryl, about carrying a baby for another couple who were not as fortunate as we were in having a family. We had 3 little girls, ages 5, 3, and 1. My pregnancies with them were pretty much uncomplicated, as were their deliveries and recoveries. I enjoyed my pregnancies, even though my husband did not. Well, the timing wasn't right yet. I was going to school full time and busy with the girls.

Our family went through a lot,' of changes, but the timing felt right. In January of 1997, after contacting a local medical center, my name was passed on to a couple who were unable carry a baby, but did have frozen embryos. The wife contacted me and we must have talked for an hour. As she told me her story, I had tears running down my face. I was so deeply touched that she would share her story with me, a total stranger hundreds of miles away. A couple of days later we had a four way conversation with all the spouses involved. During the conversation we agreed to meet in three weeks. I now know they were as scared and anxious as we were. Our daughters (who were then 7, 5, and 3) helped a lot with breaking the ice. We ended up wandering around the mall and had a snack there. Later, we had a baby-sitter come over to our home while we went to dinner. Although we were all a little tense, the meeting felt good. Our daughters loved the couple right away. That was important to both of us as they and the situation could change all lives. Also, you could see the love in the couples' eyes with a little hope taking form. After our meeting, and a phone call, we agreed to proceed. We went through many tests, then medication, then the embryo transfer. The day before Father's Day, the, received confirmation that they were going to be a mommy and a daddy!

In February, God gave these wonderful people a child. Mom and Dad were in the delivery room with us. I shall never forget the love and joy in their faces when they saw their son being born In the year that we have know each other, we have become close. They will all have a special place in my heart, as well as in my families.

I still am asked: Why did I want to do this? Do I have any regrets? Was it hard separating? Well, I wanted to help others have what I've been so fortunate to have. I have been blessed to have three wonderful little girls whom I love so much and bring me so much joy. I have no regrets, and separation was only difficult in that I ended up moving 2500 miles away from them three weeks later. After having seen their outpouring of tears, joy, and happiness at the birth, I could never regret anything. I also knew that the baby was going to a home with parents that loved him and wanted him so much.

The support, prayers, and love from so many people help and make a huge difference. There were prayers from us and the couple, but also her family, his family, their friends, my family, my husband's family, and our friends, from California to Connecticut, and from Michigan to Texas. I strongly believe it was the prayers and love that made our efforts work; made for a fast and safe labor, delivery, and recovery; and a beautiful relationship to develop. I was honored to have been allowed to be part of this miracle. I also am grateful to my husband for supporting my desire to help, even though he didn't like me being pregnant. Now, he's the first to say "yes!" if they decide to go for a sibling!

Sincerely,
Lu Thayer