The Great Journey
 

My husband and I feel like we have been on a journey around the world yet we haven't left the country. We have been "traveling" for quite a while and we are just about ready to end our adventure, or perhaps just beginning another? Our last stop will be in Whittler, Ca with the birth of our twins.

The journey that I have described above is one that most couple's hope they never have to take. It is the isolating journey through the world of infertility. As a DES* daughter, I always knew that having children was going to be a problem; I just never knew how much of a problem it was going to be. My husband and I have been married for five years, and for the majority if the time we have been trying to create a family. About 6 months after we got married and knowing my predisposition to having problems, we decided to start trying for a family right away. We were thrilled when I became pregnant immediately. Sadly this pregnancy ended in miscarriage eight weeks later. We continued to try but had no success. We then began seeing a fertility specialist which started our long ride on the treatment roller coaster. We tried numerous clomid treatments and quickly moved onto pergonal metrodin cycles. After a number of failures on both protocols we moved onto the sacred world of IVF. Due to my relatively young age ( I was 33 when we started our first IVF cycle). we were very hopeful that we would succeed. We were very happy when our first IVF attempt resulted in a positive result. However this pregnancy turned out to be a "chemical" pregnancy and was gone within a few weeks. We tried two more IVF cycles and both yielded negative results. It was after the third failed IVF attempt that we found ourselves faced with the decision that we did not want to make. What do we do now? As we saw it our choices were to continue with IVF, look into adoption, choose to live childfree, or go with gestational surrogacy. After reviewing our options we decided almost immediately that gestational surrogacy was the route we were going to take.

My exposure to DES had given me all the classic symptoms including a very small, T-shaped uterus. We felt that my uterus would never be able to sustain a healthy pregnancy. Our decision was based solely on the fact that we believed (and IVF had confirmed) that our healthy embryos would result in a successful pregnancy if they were allowed to flourish in a healthy environment. As my husband and I are very upfront about our infertility it was through one of his business contacts that we found out about OPTS. It was then through this wonderful organization that we found all the materials that we needed to know about how to proceed through these uncharted waters. After so many years of fertility treatments I felt scared to be leaving what I knew to begin something new and unfamiliar. After talking with a number of OPTS members who had gone through this same experience we made our decision as to what organization to use us to help us find a surrogate and also what medical program we wanted to use.

Gestational Surrogacy is definitely not for everyone. We found that as a couple you need to be very flexible in every aspect of this endeavor. At times it is very difficult to coordinate your treatments in one city and finish those treatments in another. It is also difficult to form a relationship with our doctor and his staff when you do not see them on a regular basis. What helped us most was being informed about every aspect of the procedure as we could be. It gave us an advantage in that we knew what to expect and what questions needed to be asked.

Our journey has been one of hard work and perseverance. We have never wavered from our original decision that gestational surrogacy was the best route for us to take. We have had some bumps along the way but the majority of the trip has been better than we could have hoped for. We encourage everyone to pursue their dreams of having an family and to know that surrogacy is a marvelous, viable alternative for infertile couples to pursue.

*DES (diethystilbestrol) was a drug given to women in 1950-1960 to prevent possible miscarriage. It is known to cause abnormalities in the reproductive organs of females and to also affect their fertility. Many DES daughters also do not respond well to such powerful fertility drugs as pergonal and metrodin.