What To Tell Your Children

What and how you decide to tell your children about your plans to be a surrogate, depends a lot on the age of your children. Under the age of two, they are really clueless as to the fact that you are even pregnant. When the child is three or above is when things get a little more complicated. For the child who is between the ages of 3 to 8, the broken tummy story works very well. I also like the idea of referring to the baby as Mrs. _______ (intended Mom's name) baby. You never want your child to ever think for a moment that this is your baby.

I think that younger children also need to see the nursery (if possible) before the birth of the child. So, when mommy doesn't bring a baby home, they understand that the baby is in his/her nursery, where he/she belongs. Younger children understand visually much better than verbally. After the baby is born, a visit to the baby's home/nursery, if at all possible, would also be a great idea.

Being as I have older children, I have personally handled this situation. My youngest was nine at the time. I explained that my intended parents weren't able to get pregnant, but really wanted a baby. I told him that the doctor would take an egg from the intended mom and sperm from the intended dad and would put them inside me until the baby was born. I told him that the baby would grow inside of me, but when the baby is born, it would go home with the intended parents. My nine year old son looked at me and said, "So, it's kinda like you're babysitting." I was so proud of him. He understood perfectly!


By
Cori Borjan
March, 1997